Reviewing stuff so you don't have to

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Labyrinth - 'Definitely not just for stoners.'


The David Bowie muppet is so life-like it surpasses one's imagination.

Crushes ones soul upon realization that goblins and midgets do not actually exist.

Full Review
Goodness me! Whoever said that the coupling of David Bowie and Jim Henson was an image too disgustingly foul to even fathom can officially consider him-or-herself crazy. Personally I found the pairing enchantable. To see David Bowie prance about the screen in those hip hugging breeches amongst thousands of rubbery puppets while he sang of kidnapped babies left me in a dreamworld. A world where dwarves and young beautiful actresses can finally co-exist in harmony. Unlike in the real world.

I have been a fan of both David Bowie and Jim Henson since I was a young boy and I've often thought of the prospect of these two icons working together. Perhaps late at night in a stuffy office. Feeling uninhibited enough to maybe loosen a few buttons on their now sweat soaked shirts. And lo, mine prayers were answered. For now we have the wonder that is 'Labyrinth'. When I first looked into those Ziggy Stardust eyes gazing back at me from the screen I too felt like a young Jennifer Connelly. Lost and frightened. Alone in this maze-like world they call 'Labyrinth'. Trying desperately to make my way to this prince so that he and I may join together at last and raise the stolen baby to become King of the Goblin Puppets! While David and I sit side by side upon our thrones which are also puppets. Drinking wine and listening to all his records pre-1994. I also love the way you never see the puppeteers arms....very professional.

All in all I cannot recommend this movie enough. And I am being completely honest in that statement. I have tried recommending it over and over and over again. To friends, family members, cashiers at the grocery store and it is never enough. Some say it has become somewhat of an unhealthy obsession and was perhaps the reasoning behind my girlfriend leaving me. To those people I simply look them in the eye and say 'You remind me of the babe.'

The Bottom Line
Do not let society's harsh prejudices against talking dolls sway you. Not only is their acting both emotional and precise, but they provide excellent backing vocals.


At Nov 21, 2012, 1:12:00 PM, Blogger James Nesten said...

Dan Zukovic's "DARK ARC", a bizarre modern noir dark comedy called "Absolutely brilliant...truly and completely different..." in Film Threat, was recently released on DVD and Netflix through Vanguard Cinema (, and is currently
debuting on Cable Video On Demand. The film had it's World Premiere at the Montreal Festival, and it's US Premiere at the Cinequest Film Festival. Featuring Sarah Strange ("White Noise"), Kurt Max Runte ("X-Men", "Battlestar Gallactica",) and Dan Zukovic (director and star of the cult comedy "The Last Big Thing"). Featuring the glam/punk tunes "Dark Fruition", "Ire and Angst" and "F.ByronFitzBaudelaire", and a dark orchestral score by Neil Burnett.


***** (Five stars) "Absolutely brilliant...truly and completely different...something you've never tasted
before..." Film Threat
"A black comedy about a very strange love triangle" Seattle Times
"Consistently stunning images...a bizarre blend of art, sex, and opium, "Dark Arc" plays like a candy-coloured
version of David Lynch. " IFC News
"Sarah Strange is as decadent as Angelina Jolie thinks she is...Don't see this movie sober!" Metroactive Movies
"Equal parts film noir intrigue, pop culture send-up, brain teaser and visual feast. " American Cinematheque


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