Reviewing stuff so you don't have to

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Freddy vs. Jason - 'Interesting concept'

Easy to remember title of film

Promotes senseless violence with controversial term 'VS'

Full Review
When I first heard about this movie being made I thought, 'God! How awful and distasteful to have a movie in which Freddy Mercury and Jason Priestly go head to head in a bloody free-for-all battle of mind and fist!' Then the more I thought about it the more I realized this is exactly the type of film we've been needing for a good long while. I mean who wouldn't want to see the flamboyant and former frontman of Queen and 90210 teenage hearthrob 'Brandon Walsh' smack each other about the face and neck for an hour and a half. Not I! (Meaning it is not I who wouldn't want to see it resulting in me wanting to see it) Then I remembered that Freddy Mercury had passed away some time ago due to tuberculosis or meningitis or something like that, so how on earth would he be available for filming. And it was then that I remembered the magic of 'film digitizing effects and animation'! You could easily get any old actor like Terence Stamp or Peter Sellers to play him and then digitally 'effectisize' him (as they call it in the industry) to resemble Freddy Mercury. And then I thought wouldn't it be great if they computerly enhanced both actors to be more than ten times their normal size and they could crash about the downtown metropolis smashing buildings with their flailing limbs and crushing trucks with their massive feet all while punching each other in the kidneys and scratching each other's eyes out. And I started to get really really excited about the film!! And it was then that a friend of mine told me that it wasn't Mercury and Priestly in a gruesome death match after all but rather Freddy Krueger and Jason from those 'Freaky Friday' movies who would be trying to kill each other and I thought 'that's stupid.' Who the hell wants to see that?

What's a Freddy Krueger by the way?

The Bottom Line
This is definitely a film that has been completed and is available for viewing at many reputable video shops.


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