Vampinions

Reviewing stuff so you don't have to

Monday, July 17, 2006

Madagascar - 'Frolicking good fun without all the fornication.'



Pros
Animal characters' genitalia extremely small and indistinguishable


Cons
Giraffe sounded a lot like that annoying guy from 'Friends'






Full Review
Do you like animated films? No? Well then, you'll love Madagascar! The people at Dreamwords have finally given us a rare glimpse into the everyday lives of some of our most wildest animals. Like lions. And hippos. And Chris Rock. Little did I know what the true nature of animal was until I witnessed what happens when the lights are off and mankind has shut the gates on his metaphorical prison we call "The Zoo" (pronounced 'zu'). It turns out they are fully developed and complex characters. Brimming with dreams and hopes and an incredible gift for song and dance.

Before I saw this film, I'm sad to say, I had always thought rather poorly of our four footed friends. Filthy creatures. Who wallowed in their own feces and devoured their young. But now I can see them for what they truly are. Walking, talking, wise-cracking members of a thriving community who seem to be living a more developed and enriching life than my own. And I say "Well done, animals. Well done indeed."

I would recommend this film to anyone who has ever seen an animal or thinks there may be a chance of seeing one in their future. Then and only then can you truly appreciate what these furry, feathered beasts have to offer us. If only more people knew that by simply leaving a camera on in a room or cage with an animal in it and then walking away, making a point to check that the animal is watching you leave (try tipping your hat and saying 'Goodnight, animal.' as you walk out the door), we would see these theatrical beasts come to life. But alas. This would require the use of hundreds and hundreds of cameras recording footage for literally hours on end. The cost of which would be so staggering that apparently only the top film studios have both the funding and the equipment for this endeavour.

But do not fret. For in the meantime, we have the treasure that is 'Madagascar'. In it there is a lion who tells his buddy the zebra that they should go to the jungle, which they do. Afterwards, they sing a song about it. I think there was also some penguins in it. Available at many reputable video shops. As for me, I'll be hiding in my closet with the camcorder on, trying to catch my cat do slap stick on the bed.

The Bottom Line
This is a tremendously fun and wholesome film that I would eagerly share with my children were I still allowed visitation rights.

8 Comments:

At Jul 20, 2006, 4:06:00 AM, Blogger scottc said...

dude, man. animals are amazing.

 
At Jul 24, 2006, 1:35:00 PM, Blogger Blog Laver said...

i don't care for this website very much at all.

 
At Jul 24, 2006, 3:06:00 PM, Blogger Vamberto Mousse said...

WHO ARE YOU BLOG LAVER!?!?!?

 
At Jul 24, 2006, 3:08:00 PM, Blogger r a z said...

man, animals have nothing good to say anyway. it's always; "that penguin kicked my balls", "those balls hit my penguin", and "look at my 3d penguin balls"

 
At Jul 24, 2006, 3:31:00 PM, Blogger Blog Laver said...

if you want to know who i am meet me at the top of the C.N. tower tonight at midnight. you'll know who i am by my red top hat.

 
At Jul 24, 2006, 3:44:00 PM, Blogger Vamberto Mousse said...

Excellent. I'll meet you there. You'll know it's me cause I'll be carrying 2 pounds of peat moss, please.

 
At Jul 24, 2006, 4:44:00 PM, Blogger Blog Laver said...

Bibbo. Bibbo the Gardener.

 
At Sep 29, 2006, 9:06:00 PM, Blogger eel bog said...

HA! bet you can't WAIT for Madagascar the SEQUEL! (queue scary music)
EB

 

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